The Gratitude Journal

I've just been catching up on all my A Cup of Jo news (a fantastic blog by a NY based blogger and fellow mum) and she wrote a post a few hours ago on how a great way of increasing happiness is to write a Gratitude Journal.  So I've started mine.  I am aiming to make a few entries a week, and I've started off today with: I am grateful for Oliver running to greet me with the biggest hug after nursery, warm sunshine on your face, meeting a friend's new baby and being reminded of just how precious those first few weeks of life are.

Some other entries I can think of are enjoying a glass of wine in the garden in the summer time, the smell of your children when you bury your head in their little chubby necks, the compliment from a friend telling you you're a great mother.  I feel inspired already and do hope I keep the entries up.  It would be great to look back in a few months time and re-read all that has been noted.

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Sleep Trainers should be renamed Magicians

Our first born was a fantastic sleeper from Day 1 pretty much.  Yes of course, he had his moments.  But he also fell into anything we made him do - drop feeds, move into a big cot, lose the dummy etc etc.  So we got a bit of a shock second time around when our latest addition decided he didn't want to be put down in his own bed.  Pretty much ever.

That was I think mostly my fault.  We slept together a lot in our first week together in the hospital and I was always cuddling him (how can you not?!?).  Then when we got home, I fell into the trap of feeding lying down in bed, so he was always sleeping with me and not self settling.  Our older son started waking numerous times a night and he ended up in bed with us each evening for a good 2 months or so.  We were all so tired that we didn't have the energy to try and change anything.  Lucian, the youngest, would cry and cry and cry until he passed out from being tired from crying.  We would pick him up and he would stop.  Put back down, off he goes again.  I could sense this was a combination of things - wanting comfort, being fussy and maybe a bit of reflux pain too at times.  When he was 2 months old we knew things needed to change or we, the parents, would lose our minds.

So, I called in the help of a sleep trainer recommended in my mummy & baby yoga class - Arti, from Sleepy Munchkins.  She came to our house for a whole day.  She started off with observing a feeding session and quickly picked up that Lucian was falling asleep on the job really easily - again another thing I didn't notice too much as I was usually busy talking to/playing with the older child at feeding times.  This then meant he wasn't feeding too well and also when he was put down for his naps later on he wasn't tired as he had been sleeping on the job!  So we got strict and woke him up every time he even started to dawdle. He didn't like it one bit but soon realised what he had to do.

When we put him down for a sleep he started to kick off.  We had recently put him in to a sleeping bag (as I was a bad swaddler) and Arti noticed he just didn't know what to do with his hands.  She held them down and tucked a sheet over him to make him feel more secure.  It helped somewhat, but then she asked to swaddle him again.  She did, and she laid him down and performed a few little moves on him - putting gentle pressure on his side so he knew we were there, propping in a dummy with a muslin near his face.....and he didn't take long to doze off.  We repeated these processes all day and he slept the best he ever had.  I was worried that this timely process each sleep time just wouldn't work when I was home alone with two kids but I needn't have worried. After a few days of recreating this (and me getting a swaddling lesson from Arti!) he became a wonderful little sleeper who now can self-settle and doesn't need us to be there to fall asleep.  When it came time to stop swaddling I moved him into the puckababy bag (see previous post) as he is still not ready for a normal sleeping bag just yet.

For ANYONE with troubles sleeping for their little ones I highly recommend Arti if you live in London - or if you don't just find any recommended sleep trainer and get them in ASAP!  It is amazing what just a few hours of professional help can do to make a happier baby and a MUCH happier household!  Being second time parents we just thought ''we should know how to do this'' - but every baby is different and we should never be afraid to need help.  We know that now!



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Puckababy - how have I not heard of them?

My lovely amazing first born son was pretty much an ideal baby from the word go.  I don't remember too much crying, he fell straight into a routine, and was always so smiley.  Everything we did - weaning, moving from swaddling to sleeping bag, etc, he took in his stride and adapted. His only 'bad' point was reflux, which involved numerous clothes changes every single day (for me and him) from his copious amounts of vomit, for more than his first 6 months of life.

So when our equally amazing and lovely second son arrived and decided to scream the house down pretty much most of the day - every day - we didn't know what hit us.  Ok, he had an anxious arrival into this world and he was actually probably just a normal baby, but seen as we had it so good the first time around, we didn't know how to handle the hours of ear splitting screaming!

Most of these screams had to do with bed time.  Going down in his own bassinet was a struggle.  I had pretty much just cuddled him for the first week and a half of his life in hospital, and then when at home and dealing with a stressful moment, I would just bring him into bed with us and he would spend the rest of the night there, most likely attached to the boob.  So there weren't exactly great habits in place from me.  Then when we would put him down at 7pm at night, he would cry.  And cry. Weeks were spent going back and forth into his room for hours - picking him up for another burp, checking the nappy, giving more food, rubbing his back.  Always, as soon as he was dozing and we put him back down to bed, he would spring open the eyes and go hell for leather again.  At this time, our eldest decided to never go to bed without crying for an hour, and the only solution for him was to lie down with him while he dozed off too.  Needless to say there was probably around 2 months where my husband and I were just ships passing in the night and not getting a decent conversation in anywhere.

I am happy to say that this has now all changed.  The biggest reason I can contribute this to was getting in a sleep trainer - which I will write about in my next blog entry.  The main outcome from her visit was her recommendation to continue swaddling the little one for another month or two.  Which we've done.  I've started to realise though just how big he is getting and he always seems to get an arm out - or even wriggle down underneath the blanket.

Then a lovely Dutch friend asked if I had heard of puckababy. She gave me her bag she used for her two daughters to try.  I loved it from the word go.  It's pretty much like a swaddle - the baby's entire body is wrapped up, leaving just the head exposed - however it doesn't feel as harsh or restrictive as swaddling.  The baby can still move its arms within the bag, its just restricted movements.  So no waking themselves from the startle reflex, yet they can still bring their little fists up under their chin if they so wish (as my sweet little one does!).  He really struggled the first time I put him in it and still does occasionally now.  However once laid down he is pretty much out to it within minutes if not seconds.

I've just ordered the 3-6mth age group version, which also gives you the option of zippers at the sides so you can open them, pull their arms out, and turn the bag into a normal sleeping bag once the baby is ready.  And if they aren't?  Just zip them back up!

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An electric facelift

I love Electric in Notting Hill.  Their sister restaurant in Chiswick, High Road Brasserie, is our regular weekend breakfast go-to, but occasionally I do like heading back to the Electric as I love the atmosphere of the surrounding Portobello Road markets.  The Electric cinema, with their armchair seats and in-house bar is steeped in history, and they hold the fantastic scream sessions - film screenings for parents with babies.

So it was with great sadness that Electric has been closed for some time due to a fire.  But now, they have reopened with a new look and new menu, with renowned Chicago chef Brendan Sodikoff collaborating on the menu.  We went along last weekend after my son's Rugby Tots session, to devour their new breakfast menu - we chose thick cut peppered bacon glazed in maple syrup that melted in your mouth - I could easily have had two portions myself.  The hash browns were a misshapen mess of heaven - grated potatoes thrown together  and fried and that were fantastic with ketchup, and you got so many for the small priced side order.  Other menu items included avocado on toast with eggs and chilli, and the all day menu includes root beer floats and bologna sandwiches.  A very different approach to the traditional menu style of the House restaurants, but so, so good.......

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A return to blogging!

Hello everyone,

After a very long delay away, I am back, and hopefully committed to regularly writing more posts!

The biggest reason for my departure from blog entries has been the arrival of baby number 2 - our beautiful second son, Lucian (pronounced loo-shun).  He arrived in October and needless to say I have been extremely busy ever since with both him and his demanding 2 year old brother!

Before Lucian's arrival I became very ill with an extremely rare condition known as Acute Fatty Liver of Pregnancy.  I just wanted to highlight here an overview of the condition and what happened to me.....if by sharing my symptoms and knowledge I can help someone else out there who may end up with the condition be diagnosed in time to safely deliver a healthy baby and recuperate themselves fully, then it will be worth it.

Around 36wks I was starting to feel quite a few common late pregnancy symptoms – tiredness, extra thirsty, getting up more to pee, etc.  But all of these were getting severer by the day.  Its crazy to look back now and think about how it was anything but normal; one of the symptoms that I had developed was an insatiable thirst – considering that I hardly drink enough water every day, my thirst had really ramped up.  I couldn’t even tell you how much I was drinking – maybe more than 5 litres a day?  I never measured at home.  I was skulling water, lemon water, soft drinks, juice, milk, anything.  And everything had to be ice cold.  And I would still be thirsty.  My concentration levels were the other major thing that had altered during this time.  I couldn’t pick up a book and read more than 2 paragraphs, I just lost interest.  I had a massive to-do pile of things I needed to do online/research etc, but every day I would look at the list and I just couldn’t do a thing.  

On the Thursday before I had Lucian, I suddenly felt really ill and threw up twice and just felt ordinary.  I had also started feeling heartburn which I had never had before.  The next day I just felt so weak.  I was having on and off contractions and didn’t want to go into labour feeling crap, so I went to the hospital and got checked out.  All Lucian’s vitals were fine and so were mine.  Thinking I might be having early labour symptoms or a viral infection I was sent home, and was told if things didn’t improve/got worse, to go to A&E or to see them again on Monday. Over that weekend I just got worse.  I would be up for 5 mins and then have to lie back down.  I don’t even think I held a conversation at all over these ‘final days’.  

So on the Monday I went back to the hospital again to get this sorted once and for all.  Pretty much as soon as I arrived I went completely down hill.  They could see something wasn’t right, so gave me a blood test and told me to stay in the night to get some fluids/antisickness drugs and rest before the blood results came back the next morning.  On the day Lucian was born, one of the Obstetricains came in and told me that my results were back.  They had discovered some abnormalities with my liver.  I would be delivering ASAP and not leaving without having baby.  I was contracting steadily so they were hoping that would continue.

I knew that there was a sense of urgency surrounding my situation but I still had no idea as to what events were about to unfold.  Some time later all the doctors started to pile in.  And I mean all the doctors.  I pretty much saw the entire obstetrics/specialist staff at Queen Charlotte’s hospital during my labour and would continue to see them every day whilst there.

We started to get an idea about what was wrong – I had been diagnosed with 2 very rare conditions; Diabetes Insipidus and Acute Fatty Liver of Pregnancy.  I’ll start with the diabetes – it is known as the ‘water’ diabetes.  It is basically when the kidneys are unable to conserve water as they perform their function of filtering blood.  The hormone that controls the amount of water conserved fails to act, so your body has no idea on input and output.  So, I was drinking, say 5-10 litres of fluid a day, but I was peeing maybe 12-20 litres.  The extreme thirst is the main symptom.  It becomes an obsession, drinking ice cold fluids, immersing yourself in water, etc, everything I had been feeling.  A doctor told me a few weeks later that if you were to deprive someone with DI of liquids, they would instinctively drink water from a flower vase or toilet, that is how extreme this is. 

My body was in complete dehydration - drying out, organs were heading towards failure and of course baby was at risk.  Which leads to my second condition – AFLP.  Some people say that the unused hormone (vasopressin) from the DI builds up around the liver, causing a layor of fat.  Acids are then produced to attack this, which causes heartburn and attacks both yours and the babies organs. You become weak, naseuous, comatose and then head into organ failure and still to this day quite commonly, death, either maternal or baby (just a few years ago the mortality rate was still around 85%). You can also get AFLP on its own withouht having DI, but it is thought that women who get DI are more likely to develop AFLP.  

But of course I wasn’t aware of all this at the time.  I was in labour, I knew I had a liver condition that could only be cured by delivery of a baby and placenta, so I had a job to get on with.  I won't bore you with everything that happened that day. Lucian arrived that evening I am very happy to say healthily.

Over the next few days it was learning more about the conditions, being monitored, treated, etc.  1 week since being admitted and 6 days after giving birth, I began to feel better.  Once home I still took it easy for a very long time.  It took me weeks to even walk to Oliver’s school which is only 3 blocks away.  In terms of my DI and AFLP, they had healed themselves by the time I left hospital and I had a check at my debrief 2 weeks after being discharged to ensure that was still the case.  It was also then that I learned a bit more about how serious the condition is, and quite often it is a case of the baby being stillborn.  We are so lucky not just to have my life, but mostly to have Lucian survive and be unscarred from this.  Quite a lot of babies don’t get a chance to come into this world, as by the time the AFLP is diagnosed, it can quite often be too late.  For some women it only develops/the symptoms arise straight after delivery.  I was very lucky to have been diagnosed  whilst in labour and being able to progress naturally.  If I hadn’t of come in the day before giving birth – if I had of thought ‘oh no, I’m just being a hypochondriac’ who knows how all this would have panned out.  Not as fortunate I am guessing.

There is a wonderful site I discovered after writing my story which was set up by a DI/AFLP sufferer - she unfortunately lost one of her twins to the conditions.  Whilst it is a very sad site telling stories of women and many babies who did not make it, I was just so relieved to find stories of others and I guess it just made me feel even more fortunate that our story ended up with the best possible ending we could have asked for.....us.

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A lovely Cotswolds Retreat

We recently took off to enjoy a last minute break in Wiltshire, and stayed at the Mr & Mrs Smith child friendly The Rectory Hotel. It was absolutely stunning - a beautiful boutique house surrounded by stunning landscaped gardens - a green for playing croquet and cricket, a pool (not so nice actually, very run down compared to the rest of the property) and the house itself did not look like it was child friendly, yet it was - elegant rooms including a small bar, lounge area and restaurant.

A children's meal is served an hour before the main menu starts in the evenings, perfect for those parents like us who fed our little one early and then put him to bed upstairs in our spacious room in the loft, comforted by the fact that a baby monitor provided by the hotel allowed us to sit in the restaurant ourselves a few hours later where we enjoyed a 3 course meal over 2 hours and could actually relax without having to pay for a babysitter! The food was stunning - Pesto risotto, grilled seabass, terrine, and lemon baked cheesecake with chocolate and thyme ice cream!

Breakfast the next morning was divine - a choice of hot dishes and a fabulous buffet of granola, cereals, yoghurt, fresh juices and muffins.  Would definitely recommend this place for foodies and parents alike!

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Image courtesy of The Daily Mail

A fantastic last minute breakfast find

Saturday morning was spent trawling the furniture heaven that is Wandsworth Bridge Road, searching for a chest of drawers for the new arrival.  I, of course, suddenly developed a severe pang of hunger after finding the perfect drawers, and desperately needed a second breakfast!

I haven't actually ever eaten in any of the restaurants occupying this strip.  I drive past them all at least once a week thinking 'I must go here; I must try that place' but still I never do.  Saturday morning was surprisingly warm and sunny and Boma has the cutest front terrace that made the most of the weather.

I fell in love with their menu straight away - so many fresh ingredients just on their breakfast menu alone.  The orange juice was squeezed from fresh oranges, not out of a carton.  My husband ordered their bacon butty with a fried egg and roasted tomatoes, and I had creamy mushrooms with a poached egg on brioche.  My dish included some sliced tomatoes dressed with basil pesto and a small side salad.  This seemingly simple addition to the plate was a breath of fresh air.  It is so unbelievably hard in London to find breakfast dishes in particular that are garnished with fresh salads.  It lifted the dish so nicely and complemented the creamy, parsley laden mushrooms which were heavenly.  Whilst I was eating I just kept thinking how nice the mushrooms would be on a big juicy steak!

Boma's lunch and dinner menu looks just as appetising and their cocktails and wine list are brilliant for a casual night out.  I already cannot wait to return!

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Image courtesy of bomas.co.uk